Its time to change!!!

So night 1 of Youth Convention is down. Wow what an amazing message last night it was all about we need a change. Every single person needs to change at times.
I really got something out of the service last night I really really did. I bawled my face off wow. I haven't cried that much in such a long time. It felt good. I already do feel different Im not really sure what it is but I do feel different in ways. Im just hoping to grow more and more this weekend as the services go by. I want all that I can have for God.

If it means giving up somethings and people in my life to get to the level in God that I need and want to be at then I will have to do it. I can't sacrifice my salvation just so I can be either cool or in the "in crowd" or whatever. I don't want to offend anyone or anything but its just something that I am going to have to do.

I think that I am going to be such a different person in the next little while. I know that God is dealing with me with things and such right now and Im going to come through it all with the help with God and some friends *wink Steph* I know that your there for me thanks your an amazing Youth Pastors wife. I don't know what I would do without your prayers and everything that you do for me thank you. I love you

Well time to get ready for church once again! :D YAY!!!

I need Jesus...

So this is my blog right? Do we all agree on that? So that would give me the freewill to talk about anything in here right. So I feel like being real and talking about exactly how I have been feeling lately.

So Im in this state of going to church and not really getting into anythin. Why you ask its because I feel like a hypocrite if I even try to pray or raise a hand and praise God. I just can't do it ya know. Im not going to put on a front or an act and pretend that I am doing good and everything is just peachy,cause its not. Its like you know where u are in God and you know that you can do better but if you even try it just seems like your going to hit the ground all over again. Which is not fun at all. I know I know when you fall just get back up again. Easier said than done though,it really is.

There is this side of me that just wants to live 110% for God and no holding back. But then there is this other side of me that just thinks that by just going to church and makin an appearence here and there is ok. But really I know that its not okay. Don't get me wrong I love God. Cause I really do. Its just all of these other things that I have let into my life and I feel like I can't go on. Even if I were to give up and get rid of these things that I just think that I would feel the same I don't know anymore seriously I don't know. I have been in church for almost 7 years now I think of all the great times that I had in church getting all on fire for God doing things for Him. Having awesome services and wanting to go to church all the time and just have a time but now it just seems like its impossible for me to have that again.

Ahhhh I just wanna cry. *sniff sniff*

Anyways Dona is coming tomorrow or I mean today if we are being all technical and such..she should be here around 10am along with Trisha! So I guess Ry is going to come and pick up Trisha and take her home with him for the weekend thats nice. Awww Trisha and Ryan time. :D Cute.

So I guess this weekend is Youth Convention that shall be swell eh? Hmm never heard of this guy that is preaching but it should be a good time. Maybe something will help me get back to where I need to be with God and everything will just kinda work its way out ya know...

Well I shall go now and call my boyfriend and say goodnight and all that fun stuff.

Till next time!

30 Things a perfect guy would do.......

Number 1: Know how to make you smile when you feel down
Number 2: Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice
Number 3: Stick up for you, but still respect your independence
Number 4: Give you the remote control during the game
Number 5: Come up and put his arms around you
Number 6: Play with your hair
Number 7: His hand always finds yours
Number 8: Be cute when he wants something
Number 9: Offer you plenty of massages.
Number 10: Dance with you even if he feels like a dork
Number 11: Never run out of love
Number 12: Will be funny, but knows when to be serious
Number 13: Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious
Number 14: Be patient when it takes you forever to get ready
Number 15: React so cutely when you hit him but it doesn't really hurt
Number 16: Smile a lot.
Number 17:Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just because he knows it means a lot to you
Number 18: Appreciate you
Number 19: Help others out
Number 20: Drive 5 hours to see you for 1
Number 21: Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching
Number 22: Sing even if he can't
Number 23: Know what you're thinking even when you don't say it
Number 24: Stare at you
Number 25: Be a good friend
Number 26: cry when she cries
Number 27: Always tell her she is beautiful
number 28: Do the little things to to make her love you more.
number 29: Tell her that you love her more than once a day.
number 30:Do for her as much as possible

Its sooo pretty and I love it!

So today I thought was going to be pretty uneventful until Ashley called me up and asked me if I wanted to hangout and of course I did.

I went to the mall got meself a slushie and went over to Moores(Erma's)work and met Ashley and we went over to the Shep's house.
We pretty much just sat around and talked and I was sooo outta the loop since out of the 6 people that were there 4 of them worked at McDonalds..and the same one at that. So I had no idea basically what they were all talking about and who they were talking about. But thats okay cause I just smile and nod and make it look like I agree and understand whats going on. Shhhh don't tell anyone different. ha!

After the much talkage of McDonalds we went to Blockbuster to get the movie Hookwinged or something like that but it wasn't in. So we got "The greatest game ever played and Oliver Twist". We watched The greatest game ever played and then Erma drove me and Ashley home.

I came home and had some soup de la mushroom. Then to my surprise at about 12:30ish I get a long distance phone call. I thought that it might be Dona but it wasn't it was a 615 number and I was like hmmm weird who might this be so I answered it. Guess who it was...Carla Richard!!! Craziness eh. I was sooo confused at first I thought that it was like Shauna or someone like that cause it didn't sound like her at first.
Well we sure did have a good ol' chat about weddings and life in general and it seems like things are going great down there for her and Kevin and whatnot. I'm happy for her. Glad things are going so swell.

Well now I'm talking to my amazing boyfriend right now so I shall go now and call him cause we have this thing that we have to say goodnight to each other everynight before we go to bed. So I'm gunna go and do that now.

The world is lovely and peaceful out tonite.

Thursday April 27th,2006

Im at my friend Wendy's house. I sure am having a swell time.

We are gunna have some supper ie:porkchops and salad and such...:) Mmmmm sounds really good to me.

Then we are going to watch the third movie to the Janet Oke series woot woot:) Im pumped!!! :D

I really miss hanging out with Wendy. Since we don't work together anyone it makes it hard for us not to get to hangout and such.

Wendy is like my other mother. I love her with my whole heart. She is always there for me when I need someone to talk to or just to listen to me. Thanks for everything Wendy. Ur an amazing person that I love and respect and look up to a great deal.

Thanks for all that you do for me. I appreciate it sooo much.

Well things are alittle crazy right now. I have been looking on some of my friends piczo sites and such and they are sooo not good. Things such as suicide and stuff. So I took them off of my links page on piczo. So till things are lookin better and there isn't things such as suicide and curse words and such I shall keep em' off.
Sorry if I offend anyone but Im not going to promote such things as that.

Tomorrow I think that I am goin to go over and spend the night at Steph's house cause she asked me. Im excited about that. :) I never hangout with Steph so this will be fun for me. Just to have a girls night out and chill and maybe have someone to talk to about things and such.

Well thats all for now peeps.

Couple quotes and poems I found that I liked!

"The Lord gives us a plan to follow. It is outlined in His commandments. And all those commandments are designed to build stability within us. We are not to excuse our failures and weaknesses: We are not to say we are made the way we are, And thereby justify our sins. The Lord expects us to rise above our weakness, become strong, and pattern ourselves after Him.

Take Time:

Take time to think-
It is the source of all power.
Take time to read-
It is the fountain of wisdom.

Take time to play-
It is the source of perpetual youth.
Take time to be quiet-
It is the opportunity to seek God.

Take time to be aware-
It is the opportunity to help others.
Take time to love and be loved-
It is God’s greatest gift.

Take time to laugh-
It is the music of the soul.
Take time to be friendly-
It is the road to happiness.

Take time to dream-
It is what the future is made of.
Take time to pray-
It is the greatest power on earth.

Take time to give-
It is too short a day to be selfish.
Take time to work-
It is the price of success.
There is a time for everything. . .

Just between me and God.

People are often unreasonable,
irrational, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse
you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.


If you are successful, you will win some
unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere
people may deceive you;
Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating
others could destroy overnight;
Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness,
some may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.


The good you do today,
will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.

Give the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give your best anyway.


In the final analysis,
it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

3months,3days...

So today is the big day for Amy and Shawn. They shall get married in about 2 hours. Craziness I know!!!

What is new with me...Yesterday me and Jen went out shoppin and bought a coffee and end tables aswell as table and chairs,oh and a dvd player :) We like to spend big. Well it is on the account of that we are moving out in the summer. In July I believe.

I hate my new job so I shall try to find some other place of employment,cause I know that I will want to jump off a building if I stay there.

Call centers suck like a vaccuum.

I had a weird dream last night that Amy.L and Kevin Munn got married today too. Weird let me tell ya. Sick. haha

I love my mamma.

Cheese is lovely too.

I have heartburn right now :S

You all should see my room it looks like a tornado hit it! Seriously come and check it out. I shall go and clean it before Ashley comes over tonight!

Halley called me and woke me up at the ungodly hour of 11am this morning. Wanting to know if wine glasses were appropriate gift for Amy and Shawn and to see if I would split the cost with him. So I said YES I will,and that was that.

I got pictures out from Youth week and are they ever cute. Pics consist of Kaylyn and I and Trisha and Ry mostly. But they sure are nice :)

I must go right now since I have 1 hour and a half til the weddin and Im dirty and so is my room

Chow!

ponderin'

I just was thinking and I was like...

I just remembered that I went to "The moffatt's" concert when I was 16.

So I downloaded some moffatt music since I used to love them just as much as Alex loves cheesecake.

Go montreal!

Muff??? Why is that sooo funny???

Brian Littrell - Welcome Home You
From the album Welcome Home You

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said “no way”
But I laid it all down, gave everything
In my head rang the words that my Father said
You’re never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to Me
I will open My arms

Chorus:
Welcome home, you
I know you by name
How do you do?
I shine because of you today
So come and sit down
Tell me how you are
I know, son, it’s good just to see your face

When I look at you holding my heart
I will give to you all that I have
Son, I know there’ll be times you will feel all alone
I will share with you the words my Father said
You’re never far
I will be where you are
And when you come to Me
You can bet I will open My arms

Chorus:

So I’ll be waiting for that day
Just to feel Your warm embrace
Your love has shown I will never be alone
For You will welcome me home
I’ll forever be, for you will say to me
Welcome home

Chorus:

When I left home to be who I am
Some people said “no way”

Shauna and Adena are amazin poets!

From Rex Kwon Do
And chatting online
Selling tupperware
And going back in time

He could throw a football over mountains
And eat steak all day long
Uncle Rico was his name
He thought he was the bomb

Taking pictures
Puffy sleeves
Drinking 1% milk
In Napoleon, Deb believed

"Flipping Idiot"
"Heck Yes"
"Wanna Play Me?"
"Its pretty cool I guess"

From numchucks
To hott models
And Loch Nessy
Then bleach in glass bottles

Vote For Pedro
For you his cousins will fight
This is one good video
Napoleon Dynamite!

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts. You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary. But you sure can beat a good drum. "Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

I miss Justin

Finally realized...

So Mom finally clued in and noticed that the hair is not as long as it was before.

We are not talking right now. She blames herself and she said that she can't forgive me. I said that I felt bad and that I asked for forgiveness and Jesus forgave me and that I hope that she can find it in her heart, to forgive me too. I said that I wouldn't do it again. She said yea right til the next time. Shes upset and so am I.
The last thing that I ever wanted to do was disappoint my mother but I have and I have to live with it now.

Just one thing after another.

I love blogs...I feel like I can just vent on here and it relieves some stress that I have and just by typing it out it helps.
Weird I know. But I am also weird too.

Your Inner Eye Color Is Blue

You've got the personality of a blue eyed womenYou're intense and expressive - and always on the goYou've also got a sweet, playful side - which draws men in

What's" Your Inner Eye Color?

Finally...

Jump up and down like a little school girl!!!

I got a job Yo!

Finally after 3 *cough* months of unemployment...and such I have a joreb!

I work at Stream its a call center for Aliant.
I will be doing customer service dealing with people trying to cancel their internet and I shall be their ISP agent. haha
I start on April 7th. Wish me luck.

Well thats all for now. Im stoked though.

Suicide sucks...

Just when u think that the world is all peachy and things are going great. Then u get a msg saying that one of your friends friend from school and work hung himself. What a horrible feeling to know about someone that died that u could have took time out and tell him about Jesus.
Like how many people do we cross paths with each day and don't tell them about what Jesus can do for them. It saddens me.

I guess even in this time of sorrow. I mean I didn't even know the kid that well but...its a huge wake up call for me and others that we have to be there for each other and not take life so lighty anymore. Sometimes we don't understand why God lets things like this happen. Especially things this drastic. But there is always a purpose even if we don't see it at the time.

God knows what He is doing.

I pray that God will use me more to help people in times like this and to help prevent things like this to happen in the future.

Life is precious,treat it that way.

I have to tinkle,What?

So once again I add a post.

Happy St.Patricks Day everyone.
I'm a lepreacaun. I know that you are jealous.

So I read that Eddie Bauer is hiring once again. I shall go and drop off a resume tomorrow or Monday. Maybe they will hire me again. That would be sweet. Even though I quit there I still liked it just not my supervisor that much.

I have to drop off some film tomorrow at the photolab. I think that my camera is broken though which totally stinks. I don't even think that I can take it back cause I don't have my reciept or the box that it came in anymore. Garsh. Its too bad I know.

My hair is getting longer which makes me happy.

Never use scissors.

I got a cute picture of Amy and Shawn with an invite to their wedding in April. Wow,I can't even believe that they are getting married thats nuts.

So apparently I'm back in the Choir now. Oh Joyous. I'm soo stoked. Oh and I'm a hostesses with the mostest as some people tell me. Also Karen Blair asked me if I would be interested in helping out with her sunday school class in teaching off and on and I said Yes. I guess I just have to talk to Vicki about it then go from there. Karen's the WOMAN. I will learn a great deal from her. Her class is ages 10-11. Should be a fun time.

I guess there is a Youth week that is going on up in T-vale and I don't get to go which bites the dust. S.Morehouse is preaching yo. I tried to convince Danny Dean to take Axel and myself up but I guess that he's gotta work or something the next morning real early and doesn't feel like getting his church on the night before.
Skallywag I say.

Oh oh...Guess who called me tonight...nope you guessed wrong...
It was Jordan. I miss that kid. We used to be right tight and such. Then the whole dating that consisted of him and Alex happened then things went down the crapper. Haha I just said crapper. Thats right. I'm bad.
But Yes he misses home and people here. He sends a BIG HELLO to everyone.

Some people I don't get,and others need to GROW up. I know that I have had my share of pity parties and such but I think that we are all old enough to suck it up and just LIVE FOR GOD,even in the bad times. God doesn't deserve to be put on a shelf. Not at all.
Maybe I'm overeacting or something but hey its my blog and I can say what I want right?

So last night I was talking to Jared Corless online and he was like nice singing tonight and I was like nice drummin aswell. Funny thing is that I know that I didn't sing that well since I had a cold and so did Ashley. But we sure did try. But it was still nice of him to compliment me.

I also found Ryan's nintendo controller tin of mints in the back of the church. Yay go me.

Can u believe that Bro. and Sis. Goddard have been gone for almost a year already. Wow time sure flys by fast eh. Where did it all go.

Ashley's mom and Chelsie are going to Alberta in April and I guess that I am going to go over to their house and housesit while Ashley is working and that way I can help out with Molly the dog take her out for walks and for her to do her buisness aswell. So that should be an adventure.

I miss Shauna and Adena alot. I miss out fun times that we all used to have together. Coming over to my place and renting movies and me making my sweet poutine that I can make :) Me and Adena being movie buddies. Cheryl and Shauna being movie buddies too.

I remember last new years 05' it was Shauna,Adena,Kim,Jen and Cheryl man did we ever have a fun time. Our song that we made a dance to it. "I get knocked down but I get up again you never going to keep me down.." Oh Johnny boy Johnny boy Johnny boy..even though the words are "Donnie boy" but we changed it up and we sure didn't make a poster with a picture of Jon Vail on it in the middle and wrote Johnny boy on it. and used it in our dance. Man What were we thinking. WAIT I know. We weren't thinking. haha It was a good time though. ^__^

Well I think that it is time for me to hit the hay as I'm super tired and such.

Til the cows come home.

M

You are my world,You are my God,and I lay down my life for You...

Well this week/weekend was full of eventful things such as Youth week and more.

Wednesday night Pastor preached about the heritage that we have and we need to be thankful for it and all of that fun stuff. But we are the church of tomorrow. Kate came to church too. Oh and Melanie aswell.:)
Thursday night was good too. Me and Ashley sang solo's to the song "Jesus I love you" I tried to sing it don't know how well I did. But everyone was coming up to me telling me that I did swell,so I guess that I believe them. haha
Jack preached then we all went out to Wendy's for some fun,food and fellowship. Oh and I met Gert. Yup thats right Gert. She's a pretty cool chick. Even though her real name is Kayla we call her Gert. good times.
Friday consisted of Ryan calling me up at the ungodly hour of 11ish...and asking if I still wanted him and his wife to come over and hang with me and Kim so I said with my sleepin hoarse voice...YES come on over. So they did! We sure didn't watch chicken little and were all excited about that. " The sky is fallin".
Then Erma came and got us and we went back to the Shep's house and Berley did mine and Trisha's hair cause we are cool like that and we get other people to do our hair. We looked hot. haha I just said that we looked hot. :P Kate and Melanie came to church again! :) woot woot
Church was good Jack preached once again. Oh oh and can I mention that it was youth week and Todd likes to pull out the old school songs from the Hymn book and expects me and Ashley to know the words to them and sing them. Ha ha
I think not.
After church was the good ol' Mcd's and then the girls all nighter. It was fun till I ate a hotdog and felt super sick. So I went and tossed my cookies Yo. Came back and watched everyone make a fool outta theirselves while doing a 4 legged race.
So then we played hide and go seek like 5 year olds. It sure was fun though. Til I felt sick again. I went to Hid in the boys bathroom and no one found me and when they did find me I was sprawled out on the bathroom floor like I just tossed my cookies again. Why cause I did. haha
So after all of that it was about 2am and I was not feeling so swell I decided to go home. So I got meself a taxi and went home. Me and the taxi driver had a good ol' chat about Walmart and how it sucks working for them. Haha well its not that bad but I guess it is now since they have a gay manager now.
We all miss you Mike Brown.
haha I said that like hes dead or something. He's not. He's alive and well :)

Sat consisted of getting up and going back to church,fancy that. A few of us got together to go out and pray for Sunday service. It was really good. It wasn't a crazy crazy prayer time but I was super honest with God and I felt Him alot. He was truly working in my life at that particular moment. After prayer we had a youth party. We played a butt load of Volleyball it was nice. I can sure serve the ball. Thats what I am good at. ha
Why don't us pentecostals ever keep score. I wonder why.
During the party since I didn't see Trish and Ry around Halley came up to me and was like wanna go to the mall and get icecream and I was like sure so we did. I get meself an Oreo mint cookie blizzard. Yum. While walking around the mall eating icecream cause we are cool like that we came across...
Ryan and Trisha,Twila and Nick,Adam and his girl Grace. She seems real nice.
Then we went back up to the church and played more Volleyball. Jammed for a bit. Well Halley and Jordan did for a bit and Trish and Kim sang. TRISH CAN SING SOMETHING SWEET!
So then after all that was over...Me and Kim and Halley and Millie went to Millie's house to watch the movie "The Gospel" *cough* For the second time I have seen it but its a good movie so I didn't complain. Then we came home and me and Kim were sooo awake and couldn't get to sleep so we had showers and made soup at 3 in the morning. Burned some Cd's talked to some people and chatted amongst ourselves aswell. Good times.
Sunday was a fun time. Danielle Kim's friend that got the Holy Ghost last year at Youth Convention came to church with us. That was nice. Sure did make me and Kim smile. Man last year when Danielle got the Holy Ghost I remember Kimbee pasted out on the floor she was sooo excited. haha It was great.

Oh and now Im a liar eh Ryan..haha well Im updatin as we speak. haha Take that! tehehe

So yes back to Sunday...We sold about 65 pizza's for the Youth Fundraiser. Craziness I know! We are making the dough now.
Sunday afternoon me and Kimbee hungout with the Meunier's it was a fun time. We ordered a huge pizza and consumed it all...mmm donair pizza,while watching an AMEN drama and then watching their wedding on video. Too cute. It was like 8 years ago when they got married and it was great cause we saw like Rachel,Alex,Hannah,Ryan and Cheryl when they were wee little ones. so funny and cute all at the same time. Man if it was on a dvd I would have so took some screenshots and use those for blackmail. haha just kiddin. Or am I?

So Sunday night we got our church on...Teah came to church cause I asked her to on Sunday afternoon when talking to her on msn at Paul's place.
God spoke to us,said that we are his vessels and he wants to use us...well thats pretty much what he was saying I can't remember everything that He said but that was pretty much it summarized up.
Teah is a trooper, I love that kid. She got her church/praise on too. Made me sure smile.
I guess just don't give up on people thats what I think at least.

Today is Monday and I slept most of the day since all week/weekend I didn't get much sleep cause we were sooo busy and such. I was suppose to clean and such today I just slept. I shall clean everything tomorrow. Oh and I wanted to watch the Calgary game and it wasn't on. : ( Not on my channels at least. that stunk.
But Dan called me so I wasn't so bored tonight.

Now I think that I am done typing for today. I shall update more tomorrow and then the next day. I want to get back at doing this.

Peace our A-town.

Happy Ryan?

I'm sure not talking to Dona on the phone...

So right now as I talk to Dona on the phone I said to myself...*self* I should add a post. Since it has been since 1909 since my last entry.

I went out with Kate tonight to christian fellowship thingy at the university it was nice. I actually really enjoyed myself. Then afterwards Melanie came to pick us up and we sure didn't watch the movie Aquamarine...tisk tisk...such a chick flick but HEY it was a good time. THE BEST MOVIE EVER MADE.

haha

Melanie is also a crazy driver. I honestly thought that I was going to die. Okay okay Im exagerating on her skillz of driving. But I will say this one thing. If she was Erma Shephards daughter she would never be on the road ever. :P haha

I think alot,too much at times. It bugs me a great deal. I think that I should stop thinking.

I sure am unemployed and living at my parents house. Thats so not the way to be I know but thats what it has been made out to be for the last wee while.
I did although apply at 6 different places on Monday to try to get some employment. Have I got a call back yet you ask. HECK NO.

Also recently in the past little while I have dissapointed alot of people that I truly do care about. I feel horrible. So if any of you are reading this in the near future. I am Sorry.

Berley wants me to go to Moncton tomorrow to chillax with her til tuesday then come back to my humble abode and spend march break with me and have a time while going to church for Youth week.

Youth week events consist of...

Tuesday-sliding at 6pm
Wednesday-church,after church eating at Route 1
Thursday-bowling,lazer tag,arcade@Kingswood,church,afterwards fellowship at Wendy's
Friday-church,girls all nighter,(maybe boys allnighter)
Saturday day of rest..haha maybe getting a gym to hangout at night.
Sunday-church,church...good ol' fun times :)

I still believe in your faithfulness,and I still believe in your truth
cause I still believe in your holy word.
Even when I don't see it I still believe

Jeremy Camp is pretty cool.

My mom is also cool.

I heart Justin

I think Im awesome at times.

Sometimes I think about u.

Now I shall go and hug a tree.

Farewell.